Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Lonely, Lonely Lonely...

So I'll put a cut on it so if you don't want to read it, you don't gotta.

Here, look at me in my undies since you're here and all. Unedited photo because I had some issues with details being bleh in the snapshot so I ended up trashing the post *pout*. The skin is Filthy's Nathalie in Tan, Hair is from Iconic, blondes, (sorry I don't remember the name of the hairstyle) Jewelry is from Je Suis and undies are from Carrie's Lingerie.

So here's the thing. I've been around SL for a long time. Various things made me leave at various times - Boyfriends turning into giant jack asses and ripping my heart apart - Health issues - Broken Computers yadda yadda. But I've been here a long time even though I start over from time to time like I did with this new avi. I'm not being secretive, during my last hiatus, I pretty much lost touch with everyone that I knew and may be weird but I sometimes find it comforting to be kind of anonymous in the crowd - going about my business, shopping or chatting or taking pictures or whatever - sort of but not quite all by myself.

But then the flip side of that anonymous in the crowd thing happens. It's contrary, I suppose, but then I get lonely. Some inner part of me runs around inside my head shrieking, notice me, notice me, notice me. It's kind of ridiculous, I feel, but that doesn't change how I feel.

I feel like perhaps in a sense this flip flop desire in my head is selfish but maybe it's really cause I'm scared. What I'm really looking for is the "white hot spotlight" of one particular person's attention, but at the same time, I'm scared of it. And no, I don't have a particular person in mind, I just have this nebulous, unfocussed...

You know, I make fun of what I call the Cinderella Syndrome. So many women, in particular, for whatever reason, seem to  feel like they got cheated out of that whole Prince Charming, one foot that fits the slipper, ride in the pumpkin carriage, waltz in the ballroom schtick. So they try to do it in SL.

It's not that I have anything against wanting to Play House or get SL married or whatnot. There's umpteen reasons why someone might want that, male or female, and I'm not immune to wanting that. Especially given that in real life...Playing House just isn't gonna happen. So yeah, I want that Prince Charming schtick, only you can keep the pumpkin carriage and the giant poofy dress. To quote Firefly, "I wear a dress, I want some thin' with some slink." And the Prince can be a little bad, a little edgy, as long as he knows how to love and be loyal.

So, here I am kinda lonely and kinda sad and kinda melancholy and wondering what I gotta do to try on that damn shoe!

So, fellas, if you stroll by and read this, you know, say hi. Especially since I'm hanging aroun'd in my frillies!

Oh also, confession time. I like K-pop. It's like my guilty pleasure. K-pop stands for Korean Pop music, like there's J-Pop and C-Pop and so on, and no I'm not Korean, I'm entirely White Bread, Southern Middle America, blah blah blah. But one night I was reading Juicy Bomb, gosh almost a year and a half ago and Sweetest Goodbye made an outfit based on a K-pop girl group's music video, naturally i had to go watch the video and so on and so forth "and even a bit more further on". I've even gone to see K-pop concerts and stuff in real life. Most of the time it's easy to find lyrics for the songs, and it's usually very melodic and as a former Choir enthusiast, it just makes me happier than a lot of the English speakings songs of late.

So here's a song. It's from a girl group called 2NE1, the girls in order of appearance are CL (the leader), Minzy (dance machine), Dara (quirky) and Bom. They are a bit edgier than some of the other groups and their management (YG) lets them have more creative control than some of the other management conglomerates in S. Korea. They also have done an english speaking single, mv.

Lonely   Click the link cause I am fail and can't figure out how to embed it right.

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